


Tormented heart, Tortured Spirit

by FoxEyes



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Death, may be triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxEyes/pseuds/FoxEyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy knows that Clarke is hurting, he watches it, and he wishes he could change it.</p><p>Or</p><p>A very short one shot of Clarke's pain through the eyes of Bellamy Blake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tormented heart, Tortured Spirit

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't expect much of this, I'm writing my way through feels. I like writing Bellamy though, so I may write another HAPPIER one-shot (to prove I'm in denial)

He watched as her body became tense, as if every part of her had screamed out at once and then froze, her eyes trailed past Raven's shoulder, focussing on something that none of them could see.

_Leave me alone!_

He'd watched as her eyes widened, as the tension in her shoulders loosened slightly and she leant forward, holding herself tightly. Everyone turned their attention towards the empty space she was staring at.

_You gave me no choice._

Then they'd realised, they'd watch as her defensive mask cracked, as if it were a physical thing, which had fallen to the ground and splintered with horrifying finality. They watched as angry desperation was replaced with a heartbreaking confusion.

_Why did you turn yourself in?_

Her words hadn't come out strained or harsh, they weren't quieter either, just sadder, and they seemed to echo. Bouncing off of the walls and around the room, and then in their minds. Silent sobs wracking her body as she turned to all of them, fear and panic and straight up pain reflected on her features.

And then she'd turned away from them.

 

*****

It was later, after the others had tried to talk to her, that Bellamy finally made his way to where she was sitting.

"Clarke..."

"What is it Bellamy?" She asked, almost frustratedly.

"I... Clarke... you need to know..."

"Please don't..." she almost spat, angrily balling her fists as tears slid down her cheeks, "I don't want to hear someone else try to tell me that it wasn't my fault. I know it was my fault... I... it was me, I- I killed..."

"Clarke... Clarke, you have to know there wasn't anything else to do."

"If you had of killed Lexa then all of us would be dead, he would have been dead too. If you'd left without doing anything then he would have been tortured for hours. A truce which involved his release would never have happened, their commander would never have allowed it, it's their custom and we would never have stopped that!" He said, his tone far away from being enforcing and harsh like it usually was.

"But... but I killed him." She whispered brokenly, and he knew that there were no words which would really, truly, help her at the moment, no words which would calm the torment that raged under her skin.

"You... you also saved him..." He whispered back. He knew that he wouldn't be able to say the right thing to her, not while there was such toxic pain flowing through her veins.

But she still looked up, briefly scanning his eyes, his expression, before letting them drop again.

"I know... I know what would have happened... but I still killed him... I can't just..."

"Clarke, I know."

 

*****

 

_You should go._

Bellamy swipes at his eyes, brushing away any emotion lurking there.

_I was being weak._

He didn't want to believe her words, they weren't right, couldn't be right, not coming from her. He wanted to frown, to scowl, to ask what the hell she was talking about.

**_It's worth the risk._ **

And he knew then what had happened... he knew what she'd done, how she'd hardened her heart and raised her defences. He understood then, that she thought that not caring would stop the heartbreak, would protect the rest of them.

He didn't want to understand. He didn't want to realise what she was doing. He didn't want to watch her become someone that he'd known her not to be.

But he did.


End file.
